The Trapped

Chasing the high..


Dark and trapped in the pit of a lonely cave, all alone loveless and cold.
the only things remain are the bitter sweet memories of a love once felt, a love so
beautiful momentarily that it needed to be seeked again. Almost impossible for the trapped, he ventures out of the cave chasing his next fix of it.

He searched and searched, every way , every corner, every inch he could get to, in the meantime finding himself occupied with extreme fantasies of what could be around the corner.

The trapped had feelings that had not been resolved, feelings of neglect, loveless surroundings, guilt and uncertainty of his self, emptiness and feelings of unhappiness, never really certain he was happy if he was alone. The trapped could never venture out and find sacred contempt in solidarity but rather could only seek the next high, no matter where and at what cost.

The only problem is this love addict had to find the perfect girl, not ones that possessed anything that gone wrong in the passed, nothing that was reminiscent of things that had gone wrong, somebody different, somebody beautiful and rare , unique and entrancing.

surely but very slowly days turned into months and almost a year later, the trapped found her. Floating through life like a white lily on the lake, she was there in front of him and all he had to do was get her to open up and let him in. She too had been trapped, but had strived to find contempt in love, life and in god. Something he never had, nor knew about, she intrigued, attracted and entranced him with her fluorescent smell.

He was attracted to her looks, mind body and soul and he had to have her, and he surely did. She was vulnerable and lonely too, and was in love with the idea of being in love almost as much as the trapped, perhaps not as much though. He needed to run away from himself and be trapped and entranced of the idea of being in love to feel whole if even for a moment.

She genuinely liked him and excepted him at first, but did not love him. The trapped came rushing into her life like a storm, didn't leave any of her desires unfulfilled any of her needs unfulfilled she seemed to be happy but felt it was too intense to begin with.

She questioned, could this really be love? it must be? he would do anything for me, he would marry me, have me forever , this must be what I've been dreaming and searching for, the fairytale, this is it this is the one, my eternal my forever.
The trapped was obsessed he had found his fix, his high he turned into a person that resembled the girl, he was no longer anywhere near that cave he was now another part of this girls flower peatles, he now floated with her on that river. However being something he was not, the trapped continued in desperate need to keep this flower be everything she desired and this drained him of his identity, not the girls fault but at the cause of insecurity of the trapped he became something he was not to run away from the darkness and run from being alone with himself and his emptiness.

His love started to turn into blame, started to turn from obsession to abusive love that would only drive them further apart. She had finally fallen in love, although not as fast as he did, she had paced herself to gradually trust and let him in, bit by bit her walls came down, but his walls came down too quick too soon and also went just as quick, he had now discovered what an amazing girl she was and was no longer chasing the high, but trying to get her to love him for who he was not the facade he had pulled over her eyes in order for her to love him.

Because of her love for him or what she thought was love, she did she tried to love him for who he really was, but it was not enough, the thrill had already gone for the trapped, he felt the darkness coming back, the  memories of pain, the hurt, the fear the trap's of the past and the angry inner daemons screaming out to him, they were an addiction he was addicted to pain and addicted to finding love and the chase of love to conceal the daemons, but he would not be happy.

The trapped discovered that this girl was one in a  million, irreplaceable and had genuinely loved him for who he was, but the guilt was to much, the pain the hurt he blamed her and ran away, he was searching for another obsession another distraction another girl to take away from his pain of loneliness and lack of self knowledge. He was an empty soul lingering the dark streets searching for his next fix, she will love him for a while but soon realize that she also to was in love with the idea of being in love, she was a genuine person that once gives her love will not return it, but this was not true love between them, no but yet their loneliness will draw them back together one day. The trapped will soon stop running and realize that the girl he had was truly one in a million and could not be replaced, the connection between them was not a coincidence, he set out searching for his fix but found his queen, that special one from the moment he laid eyes on her, that strong connection and likes and similarities would be to hard to denied, his life will change and it seems that the Trapped has met his match.

Does this mean they will be together, that is one for the mystery of the universe, do they belong together, who knows either, the girl can do better but she wont let herself move on because of her loyalty, she will always have feelings for him, perhaps one day she will stop, one day in the near future, but for now it is what it is and the trapped will always find a cave to hide in, he will always be engulfed in the fear of his own insecurities and forever fall into the dream whirlwind of love and falling in love to protect them. It's not fair on the girl because she was genuine, she really did love him, but will he realize this, time will tell.