The Cry of the Wolf

I feel like I’ve been shot. Like a bird with a missing wing. Like a car with one headlight, like a raven with a bloodshot eye. How can I see? I don’t understand what is happening, all I feel is a knot in my stomach. Your voice runs through my mind and your words ring in my ear. My vision is blurry and my head spins. I sit in this hospital bed with the reminiscent thoughts of what you said; it hurts so much because I don’t understand. They said forever would come again, you said forever would last, you promised to never leave but you did. I don’t understand how I got here, how it’s all back to the same page. I feel like I’ve been here before, distilled thoughts of a promise once spoken a bond that was broken, and for what? The one thing I feared is the one thing that kept me holding onto you. They call it love. They say love is forever, but forever didn’t last so then what is love? We speak of true love as some type of justification to ourselves that forever will somehow mean a true form of this empty feeling of love. That none of us really understand. I pushed you away, but with reason, you lied and I ran away, why? Because I’ve been here be fore. I’ve felt this pain, and I did anything I could to not feel it again. When I said stop it wasn’t because I didn’t love you or that I didn’t want you but it was because I was scared, because you gave me reason to doubt, you broke the foundations of trust we walked on together as a couple. It felt so wrong to continue so my natural instinct followed through and let you go. But you always came back.. Like a wolf to it’s master, you always returned. But now you have fled, maybe the promises you once said, somehow you forgot. Do they not resonate in your mind? How much can you prove your love if your only mistake was fearing it? I loved you, I believed it would have been forver. But you left, you left because I pushed, but I pushed because I was scared you would leave. It’s like the boy who cried wolf. I’m left with confusion, despair and words that you said, nothing you ever did makes any sense, one minute you love me one minute it’s goodbye. I just find myself asking and questioning… why?